We see many couples in the world who have no children. It makes them unhappy and they feel themselves unlucky. The constant enquiries and subsequent show of sympathy by some relatives and friends will make them feel that there is something abnormal in them. And it will create unnecessary tension in them and as a consequence, it may affect their health and behavior also. Some of them will not even dare to meet others and as a result, will start leading an isolated life. And they will desperately seek treatment as if it is a sickness. In a few cases, there will be some problem which could be treated and cured. But even treatments fail in many cases, just because of the tension and mental state of the couples. And in many cases, wily people will take advantage of their desperate mental state by giving useless materials as medicine, charging exorbitant prices. On the other hand, well-wishers may direct them to seek the blessing of God. On the whole, the circumstances will make many of such couples unhealthy and inactive and dejected. And they will curse themselves and in many cases the husband will blame the wife and she will blame him in return. In rare cases, it may even lead to divorce. Some parents of such couples may even lament saying that they have no grandchildren to perform their funeral rites to enable them to go to heaven after death! All this will lead the couple towards an uncanny thought that their life is a waste and barren.
All this happen just because the couple does not try to see the issue in proper prospect.
First of all, they should know that a lot of couple around the world have the same problem and it exists from time immemorial and will be there as far as there is life on this earth. It is not a sickness and it is not due to their mistake. There is nothing to be ashamed in it. If possible, let the problem be rectified by expert treatment. But even for that, they have to be optimists. Do not pay heed to what others say and lead a normal, happy life. Be firm in your conviction that bringing up children is not enough and not necessary to fulfill your responsibilities to the society and also to the world at large. And only those, who discharge their duties properly, can be happy in this world.
They have to realize one thing very clearly. Having a child alone will not make a couple and their parents happy for ever. Anything can happen. The child’s sickness, untimely death and even his becoming a constant pain to the parents. If childless couples remember this aspect, they won’t feel so unhappy. On the other hand, they have one advantage. With a little effort, a couple without children can see all the children of the world as their own and love them without any selfishness, which others cannot. Even parents expect something from their children. They expect that the children will help them when they will grow up. But we know so many cases where, instead of helping the parents, the children become the cause of perpetual sorrow to the parents. I have heard many parents say that it would have been far better if they were childless. They had brought up the children giving all care and love, but instead of helping the parents in old age, the children are the only cause of the parents’ sorrow and agony and unrest. What a pity!
If you make a close scrutiny of the relationships between the members of a family, you will realize one thing. All these are based on some or other kind of selfishness. Children expect favors from parents, parents expect respect and obedience and support in old age from children, elders expect respect and love from their juniors and the juniors expect decent and kind treatment and also moral and financial support from elders. Same is the case between couples. There may be a few cases which are different, but they are only exceptions.
I do not deny the fact that there are other relationships also, like the one between some close friends, where there is no room for selfishness. They will be willing to help each other without expecting any compensation or gratitude. Likewise, there are relationships between men and women without any blood relation between them, but they consider themselves as brother and sister or father and daughter or son and mother. Here too, there will not be any trace of selfishness. Pure love will be the only bondage between them. Such relationships are sweeter than the ordinary relationships. Although these are different issues, a childless couple can also enjoy the privilege of loving all children around them as their own without expecting anything. To realize the sweetness of such relationships, it is to be experienced. But a couple with their own children cannot experience this as they will have to see their own children as different in their relationship from other children. If the childless couples realize that such relationships are sweeter than having their own child they will be happy. Believe that God or the Supreme Law has given them a chance to experience the sweetness of such relationship.
I would like to say one more thing here. I did not mean here that it is better to have no children than having own children. I just pointed out that both are having positive sides and if a childless couple will learn to see the positive side of their destiny, they can be happy like any other people.Print This Post To toggle between English & Malayalam Press CTRL+g